Suspended Harrison back with Brumbies
Former Wallaby second-rower Justin Harrison admits bursting into tears after the Brumbies handed him the chance to mend his battered reputation.
The 35-year-old forward was banned from playing for eight months after admitting to taking cocaine at end of season celebrations with English club Bath in May.
Harrison described the last six months as a "dark period" in his life and said he was swamped by feelings of loneliness and immense shame.
So when he received a call last Friday night from the Brumbies offering a one-year Super 14 deal because of concerns about lock Peter Kimlin's shoulder injury, Harrison said all the emotion came pouring out.
"There was waterworks, plenty of that," Harrison told AAP on Monday.
"Professionally I think it is the best phone call I have received in my career.
"It was a really emotional phone call and today at training was equally emotional walking in there as a Brumbies player again was fantastic."
"I am hoping I am afforded some scope to give the human story to it and reassure people that there is no risk of reoffending and if anything I am much more passionate about putting into the squad where my rugby career started."
Harrison, who played 34 Tests for Australia from 2001-2004, will be free to play again from January 13, 2010.
Regarded as one of the best lineout technicians in the game, he returns to the Brumbies after a six-year absence, having played for the NSW Waratahs (2004-2005), Ulster (2005-2008) and Bath.
His experience and lineout ability mean he has plenty to offer what promises to be a title-contending Brumbies squad which picked up Wallabies captain Rocky Elsom and playmaker Matt Giteau in the off-season.
Harrison said he still felt great guilt about the effect of his actions on those closest to him.
"You feel very, very lonely and isolated when it does occur and rightly so because it was completely my fault," he said.
"You do feel there is a huge loss, there is a loss of identity and a loss of direction and purpose and that is probably a normal occurrence for any professional person at the end of their career.
"But me particularly with the stigma that is attached to it and the stain on my character which I will carry for the rest of my life.
"The most disappointing aspect is for those people who have had guilt by association through no fault of their own, (they) have had to walk the same miserable path that I have had to go down."
Despite the Wallabies suffering great problems with their lineout this year, Harrison said the thought of playing for Australia again was far from his mind.
"All I am concentrating on is the Brumbies, I have got through half a day of training so far and I am just focusing on being the best I can be for them," he said.
The star-studded Brumbies start their 2010 Super 14 season against the Western Force on February 12 in Perth.
In terms of facing the music, Harrison has probably already done some of his hardest work off the playing field.
Following his ban, he says he spent time with his South African fiancee in the Republic convincing her parents she was not "with a fool".
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