Fearless Bomber back in business
Essendon's Jason Winderlich still feels numbness in his left foot and has no reflexes at all in his ankle - the by-products of a serious back injury which nearly finished his AFL career.
But not playing provides a numbness all of its own, as the 24-year-old midfielder knows.
Winderlich had a breakthrough season for the Bombers in 2007, before disaster struck last year.
A disc in his back split. Fluid leaked out, and dried around his sciatic nerve.
"I had referred pain all the way to my left foot. I've still got numbness in my left foot and no reflexes in my left ankle," Winderlich said.
Winderlich spent seven months recovering from two operations to fix his back - at one point spending a lot of time staring at the ceiling wondering if he would ever play again.
"I didn't run for about six or seven months last year when I had the first operation.
"It didn't work, then I had to have another operation.
"The first time I ran was around December last year. There were times I thought I wouldn't be playing again."
"(Now) the back's fine. It's more just management from the soft tissue stuff I have to worry about.
"I don't really think about it (the numbness in his left foot) at all. It doesn't hinder me in any way."
A 27-possession best-on-ground performance against Fremantle last weekend showed Winderlich is back playing the sort of football which was finally earning him recognition before his injuries.
In a team devoted to run-and-carry footy under coach Matthew Knights, Winderlich has the game plan to suit him best.
But he and Essendon's young midfield face a monstrous test on Saturday night - coming up against Carlton's Chris Judd and company at the MCG.
The Blues' midfielders are carving out a reputation alongside Geelong and Hawthorn as the competition's best.
While Winderlich jokes he'd prefer not to be playing on Judd if possible, he says his experiences have changed how he approaches his footy - every game a godsend approached with no fear.
"I'm playing with a lot more freedom now because it's a bonus that I am back," he said.
"For a while I didn't think I would be back.
"Now I play with a real freedom that if something happens, it happens. If not, then good."
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